One More Equals Four

When I left the blogging world a few weeks ago, I didn’t really know if I would be back.  I knew I really enjoyed blogging but it was sucking up so much of my time and thoughts and not giving me a whole lot in return.  So, I have spent a few weeks figuring things out.  And it really has been good for me.  I have come to understand myself so much better.  One thing I guess I knew but constantly try to ignore is that I am an approval junkie.  Not seeking the approval of the only One that matters–God, but of every person I come in contact with.  And I realized that that translated even to blogging.  I began blogging not for friendships but to keep my family in touch with what was going on in our lives.  Somewhere along the line, when they stopped reading as much, my motives slowly changed and it became more of a quest for readers and adoring fans who would tell me how wise and witty I was (I wish I was kidding).  I would spend WAY to much time hopping from blog to blog commenting everywhere hoping to get readers to my site.  Sometimes, it was effective…usually it was not.  There were days I would have a grand total of three readers and no comments and days I would have 100 readers and 2 or 3 comments.  If I wrote something that, in my estimation, was really great, I would check my email every hour to see if anyone had commented on my brilliantness and even my quiet time got pushed to the back burner.  I would get my feelings hurt so bad when no one would comment or I had no readers and would get really down on myself wondering why I wasn’t good enough, clever enough, funny enough, etc.  So, I finally realized I just needed to step back and evaluate.  And guess what…I did…finally.  I realize that the “Super bloggers” I so admired really aren’t that precious to me.  I have gone several weeks without peeking even once at those blogs that got me started to begin with.  What I have missed, what I have ached and longed for are the five or six really special “friendships” I feel I was beginning to develop.  I found myself really wanting to know what Happy Mommy or Purple Diva or The Mother Load were up to and how they were doing but I never wasted a minute’s thought on the blogs that I would read and comment on never to hear another thing from them.  Yes, they may have sent me a little traffic, but not anything that stuck or developed any further.  So, I have decided to come back but with a little different perspective. 

I WILL NOT blog before giving my time first to my God and then to my home and family.  I love blogging because of the relationships and because I have a place that I can store precious memories and moments with my family.  So, when I have a story to tell or a memory to preserve, I will be here to record it.  When I have extra time, I will be checking the blogs of those who mean something to me.  And I will try not to get consumed or get my feelings hurt when I get little or no response.  I am excited to be back and I look forward to seeing how some of ya’ll are doing and maybe I can keep my head on straight this time around.

I have a fussy baby now so I must go, but I cannot wait to tell you about my fitness activities, my surprise visit from my grandma, Dancer learning how to swim…..

Today we had guests at the pool.  Dancer’s very best boy friend and his family came over for lunch and swimming.  Dancer has been SO excited about this.  Dancer and “S” have known each other almost their whole lives.  They go to church together, went to Mother’s Day Out together, were in Pre-K together and will begin Kindergarten at our tutorial together.  They have planned their wedding all the way down to the dance they will do at the reception.  It is just understood by “S” that they will be marrying.  In fact, they have even gotten in trouble in S.S. once for kissing (although we later found out they were not kissing–they were playing cats and they were cleaning one another–which is worse?). 

Anyway, recently Dancer has decided that she is no longer getting married because I informed her that when she did she had to move out of my house.  Well, if that was so, she decided, all bets were off and she would not, in fact, be able to marry “S”.

Today at the pool, Football Boy decided to stir things up. “Hey, “S”, he said, “Are you going to get married to Dancer someday?”

Dancer swiftly and matter of factly responded, “Not until my Mommy and Daddy are Dead!”

Why do I suddenly feel the need for protection?

1.  Reading a post by BooMama about Home Improvement may spur you on to do things you should have done years ago even though you know you cannot participate in her carnival because you are too technologically incompetent to post before and after pictures.

2.  A wonderful place to start on these projects is cleaning and organizing the kids’ bedrooms because of the instant gratification of throwing away three garbage bags full of unwanted drawings stashed in every nook and cranny of said rooms.

3.  If you really want to inspire the children to help with the project, invite a friend over and then tell the child he cannot play with the friend until room is cleaned and organized.

4. If you want the room to stay organized, you must spend the next week going into the bedroom at all cleaning sessions and acting as the cleaning gestapo with phrases such as:  “If it is left on the floor, it is garbage,” “Is that where that toy belongs?” or my personal favorite, “Can this pass a daddy inspection?”

5.  When tackling these little projects and suggesting on Saturday that you clean the garage that has not been cleaned since you bought the house 5 years ago because hubby wanted to wait until it was painted, be aware that after doing what you can on Saturday but not being able to finish because of the whole painting thing, that on Monday morning while you are in the shower, you may get a call from the painter hubby has hired to say he is on his way…immediately!

6.  Since this is obviously a week of improvements, you might as well get serious about your health and put yourself on a diet/exercise program and stick to it.  However, if the plan calls for starving yourself for two days, you should probably not spend dinner at the local catfish dive because you will end up going 200 calories over your limit and blowing things right off the bat!

7.  This has nothing to do with home improvement, but just because your boy is 11 years old and SHOULD know better.  Do not assume that when you let him go play outside with his friend that he will not do something crazy like decide to use nature to “relieve himself” despite the fact that our next door neighbors are having a garage sale and the fact that we live on a lot surrounded by woods full of creatures.  AND when boy does begin his job, it is entirely possible that a snake will come out of hiding to see what all the commotion is and scare the tee-tee out of boy (literally)!

Finally, I would like to end with a little story.  This has nothing to do with things I learned this week…but it is funny.  After spending two days organizing bedrooms, my kids were ready to play.  We had a friend spend the night Thursday night and on his way in he told us it looked like our next door neighbors were going to have a garage sale and we should go check it out.  I explained that we had just spent three days organizing and cleaning out…I did not want to bring someone else’s junk into my house.  But the allure was too much for the boys.  Bright and early Friday morning, they asked if they could go look.  Now, the neighbors are really sweet people and they have a little girl about Football boy’s age.  She is very sweet BUT her momma works a lot and her sisters who are much older keep her.  I think she is very lonely and she is delayed in academic as well as social skills.  Every summer we have to be very careful.  She will walk in the house without knocking, will get food out of the cabinets, refrigerator, etc. invite herself to lunch and even ask can she go into town, etc. with us.  Last summer, her sisters came looking for her about 2:00 in the afternoon–they had not seen her since 9:00 that morning.  Terrified, we went on a search for her and after about an hour found her in another neighbor’s house.  Anyway, the kids try to be nice, but they do get annoyed with her so they were a little leary about going to her house but finally worked up the courage. 

She gave them a guided tour of the garage sale and even laid a few sales pitches on them.  Finally, they found a prize…a disco ball…and they just had to have it.  So they pooled together $3 and made their purchase.  It has definitely provided $3 worth of entertainment!

Well, Monday Morning, our little neighbor came over and the kids started playing hide and seek.  She went into the boys’ room and saw that disco ball on their dresser.  I promise you, this was her reaction:  “Wow! cool disco ball–where did you get it?”  I say, the kids sell it back at about $10 and make a little profit!