Science Fair Blues

I would really like to cause great bodily harm to the teacher who assigned this science fair project to my 5th grader.  Unfortunately, that teacher happens to be me!  So, in case I have any former students or parents out there who stumble upon this blog, I would like to offer my deepest heartfelt apology and let you know that any name you called me, any ugly names you may have said about me, any less than flattering thoughts you may have had about me were all well deserved and I understand and forgive you.

I would also like to offer words to the horrible person who thought making the Science Fair a requirement at our homeschool tutorial was a great idea, but that was me as well.  These ideas seem so much better when your child is a second grader!

Each year, our annual Science Fair is a pretty big deal and we were so honored a couple of years ago when we were invited to send our winners to the Regional Science fair at one of our local universities.  Wow!  What a privilege and what a lot of work, but soooo worth it (when your child is too young to participate)!  It is so interesting how points of view change when you have an active part in the process.  Over the past few years, I have prided myself on making the process simpler.  Explaining it better.  Becoming more organized.  Teaching each phase step by step.  This year, I have learned the most important lesson of all:  NOTHING makes this easy or simple!!!  I still think it is a great learning experience, I still love the look of excitement in football boy’s eyes as he looks forward to swiping bacteria and placing samples on petri dishes, but OH MY!  Why didn’t somebody warn me!  I am tired, pregnant and helping guide 17 other students through the process while trying to keep up with my own assigned deadlines.  I tell you, I am NOT giving myself a Christmas present this year OR a teacher appreciation gift!!! I am not!!!

In case you are wondering, we have our Research Plan due tomorrow and being the good homeschool mother that I am, we did not do this Friday. Or Saturday when we were home all day.  Or even Sunday.  No, we waited until today.  At about 2:00.  Dancer has dance class at 4:00.  I have never been so happy as when we received a call this afternoon that Dancer’s teacher was sick and class would have to be cancelled.  Truly, I wish Mrs. Kim well, I am sooooo sorry she is sick, but Thank you, Jesus!  Because at 4:30 today when we were just finishing school, I was never so thankful we were through for the day.  If we had  had to stop to go to dance, we might still be working on that #$$%%^ Research plan.

Football boy, however, remains in great spirits.  When Tigerfan got home from work and the grocery store (which as a brief aside, he offered to run by and pick up a few things when he got off work.  He got off at 4:30.  He got home at 7:00 tonight.  The moral of this story is, although very well meaning, NEVER send an OCD man who cannot make decisions and is still recovering from a vasectomy to the grocery store with a list longer than about 5 items), Football boy could not wait to show him his Research Plan.  “Daddy, this is the longest paper I have ever had to turn in before!  Cool, huh.”

Daddy’s response, “Wow, did you type that whole thing?”

Answer: No, the evil teacher/mother who assigned it typed it while Football boy told her what to say because being the wonderful and well meaning teacher, she did not want to overwhelm her little fifth graders with having major typing along with having to do their first science project.  Instead, she decided to overwhelm the already overwhelmed fifth grade parents and let them type it, hey, they have lived their lives, their fun was over long ago…and someone’s gotta do it.

I wonder if the tutorial needs a kindergarten teacher next year?

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Georgia Mom said,

    I ran across your blog over at Musings of a Housewife. I’ve enjoyed reading. I homeschool as well, but my girls attend a 2 day a week school and I’m also the 3rd grade assistant. So, we keep busy! Congrats on Baby #4 and sorry about the Science Fair. My oldest is in 3rd grade, so we have a few years before we have to worry about that. Good Luck! I’ll check back soon.

    Georgia Mom


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