I’m Back! or Confessions of a Blogging Addict

When I left the blogging world a few weeks ago, I didn’t really know if I would be back.  I knew I really enjoyed blogging but it was sucking up so much of my time and thoughts and not giving me a whole lot in return.  So, I have spent a few weeks figuring things out.  And it really has been good for me.  I have come to understand myself so much better.  One thing I guess I knew but constantly try to ignore is that I am an approval junkie.  Not seeking the approval of the only One that matters–God, but of every person I come in contact with.  And I realized that that translated even to blogging.  I began blogging not for friendships but to keep my family in touch with what was going on in our lives.  Somewhere along the line, when they stopped reading as much, my motives slowly changed and it became more of a quest for readers and adoring fans who would tell me how wise and witty I was (I wish I was kidding).  I would spend WAY to much time hopping from blog to blog commenting everywhere hoping to get readers to my site.  Sometimes, it was effective…usually it was not.  There were days I would have a grand total of three readers and no comments and days I would have 100 readers and 2 or 3 comments.  If I wrote something that, in my estimation, was really great, I would check my email every hour to see if anyone had commented on my brilliantness and even my quiet time got pushed to the back burner.  I would get my feelings hurt so bad when no one would comment or I had no readers and would get really down on myself wondering why I wasn’t good enough, clever enough, funny enough, etc.  So, I finally realized I just needed to step back and evaluate.  And guess what…I did…finally.  I realize that the “Super bloggers” I so admired really aren’t that precious to me.  I have gone several weeks without peeking even once at those blogs that got me started to begin with.  What I have missed, what I have ached and longed for are the five or six really special “friendships” I feel I was beginning to develop.  I found myself really wanting to know what Happy Mommy or Purple Diva or The Mother Load were up to and how they were doing but I never wasted a minute’s thought on the blogs that I would read and comment on never to hear another thing from them.  Yes, they may have sent me a little traffic, but not anything that stuck or developed any further.  So, I have decided to come back but with a little different perspective. 

I WILL NOT blog before giving my time first to my God and then to my home and family.  I love blogging because of the relationships and because I have a place that I can store precious memories and moments with my family.  So, when I have a story to tell or a memory to preserve, I will be here to record it.  When I have extra time, I will be checking the blogs of those who mean something to me.  And I will try not to get consumed or get my feelings hurt when I get little or no response.  I am excited to be back and I look forward to seeing how some of ya’ll are doing and maybe I can keep my head on straight this time around.

I have a fussy baby now so I must go, but I cannot wait to tell you about my fitness activities, my surprise visit from my grandma, Dancer learning how to swim…..


9 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    I’m glad you are back. I missed you, even if you didn’t miss me.

  2. 2

    Carolyn said,

    I am SOO HAPPY TO READ THIS TODAY! I know exactly how you feel. If you have read my blog long enough you will see there was one I wrote about this SAME THING! You said what I was feeling when I wrote that post!
    I may have a lot of traffic but not a lot of comments just like you said! But that’s ok now with me, because the ones that keep coming back and finally are commenting are some really neat ladies…and I enjoy reading their blogs! YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE LADIES! I am tagging you today…I came for the sole purpose of seeing if you had posted anything yet or not-before I tagged you. I don’t want to pressure you but if you feel like it feel free to do the tag.
    I sure missed you and am so glad to see you are back!
    You ARE WONDERFUL! God knows that for sure!

  3. 3

    Dawn said,

    I was tickled by your “unexpected visit!”
    I thought to myself…SHE’S Back!

    In regards to your post…I do it also!

    In truth…this blog spot is a place I can share and “put out there” the things I may not otherwise have oppurtunity being a SAHM and my dh says “this is good but you also need to meet the needs of the Lord and family first and if this doesn’t come inbetween then go for it”… He has also noticed I’m becoming a better listener for him because I’m not overloading him with stuff I want to share about as I’ve already shared, LOL! Yet sometimes I want others approval…besides the ones we know who loves us regardless…what are we thinking?! God must laugh at our clumsiness!

    I’m convicted that if what I blog about does not edify or (re) invite an invidual closer to HIS calling…then I really should not post it…knowing some will want to fellowship more…and others not so. This is A-OK!

    The short of it is this…I’m glad your back cause it’s nice to meet others whom like myself just want to share!!!

    In all things give Glory to God!~ Dawn ;0)

  4. 4

    Happy Mommy said,

    I am really honored that you wanted to know how I was doing! Really sometimes I think we all blog for the wrong reasons, but at the end of the day if I have commented on 5 or 50 blogs and neglected my relationship with the Lord and my family I have messed up. And I have messed up many times, blogging is like the modern day soap opera…

    I really love reading whats going on in Mom’s lives, its encouraging and uplifting sometimes relieving to know I’m not the only one!

    I am really glad you are back, I have checked often to see if you were, and I respected you very much for stepping away.

  5. 5

    I was teasing. But I really am glad you are back. 🙂 I enjoy reading your stories about your family.

  6. 6

    Aimee said,

    yeah, i was also excited to have randomly stopped in and see that you were writing again. i actually gave you an award, i know a pointless blogging nicety, but someone gave me one so i thought i would mention a few blogs that i liked. i have truly been touched by your honesty and transparency, i think that is so valuable but so many people dont do it.

  7. 7

    Amen! Brava! I second the bloggy motion!

    I am wading through my google reader after a week on vacation and I find that I am just deleting many things without reading them and *gasp* I am OK with that.

    Of course, I am tickled that you are back — I look forward to our continuing bloggy-friendship 🙂

  8. 8

    Dawn :0) said,

    Hey your past due! Hehehe…come see what’s happened in my neck of the woods…a blog post I couldn’ve lived without but hey everything in HIS time is GOOD!


  9. 9

    Dawn said,

    Come by and sign up for a fun giveaway!

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