Its Really Not Funny

I mentioned yesterday our experiences at the dermatologist.  But, oh, I only skimmed the surface.  Since baby is sleeping and the other children are occupied, I thought I would sit a moment and give you a little something, something to ponder over the weekend.

Our dermatological visits began about three years ago.  Tigerfan had some moles he was concerned about and our general practitioner recommended he have them checked out.  He had an appointment scheduled but realized at the last minute that it was scheduled for the same time we were to be out of town for children’s camp.  He called the office to explain the situation and they told him they could work him in that afternoon.

Now, I may have mentioned Tigerfan’s OCD tendencies once or twice and he does not fail here.  Because, he had a scheduled day he wore each pair of underwear so that they were on a rotation basis and got equal wear (I am not kidding!).  Anywhoo, as would happen, on this day, which happened to be a Monday, the scheduled pair had gotten too worn and he had not yet purchased a replacement, so he decided to live life on the edge and go “free willy” so to speak.  He thought nothing of it and that afternoon, he went to his doctor’s appointment.  The nurse greeted him in a friendly manner and then asked him to undress down to his underwear.

Now he was in a pickle, because of course, HE WASN’T WEARING ANY!  He decided just to “fess up” and said, “what if I am not wearing any?”  The nurse, with superhuman composure, if you ask me, replied that he could just leave his pants on!  /to this day he swears he heard the whole office begin to giggle as soon as she walked out!

Well, as you can imagine, we have gotten A LOT of mileage out of that little story!  I even have family members who regularly send him boxers so he always has a back up pair.

But, my friends, the story does not end there, oh, no it doesn’t.  Because, you see, yesterday he went back for his yearly exam (with underwear on, I would like to add).  She asked if he had any moles he was concerned about and he mentioned one on his arm.  She agreed that it should be removed.  She then began the “full body check” and found only one more suspicious looking friend.  It just happened to be about 1 1/2 inches northeast of…well, how do I say this delicately, his crack.  She said she was sorry, but it would have to be cut off as well, and got busy.  They didn’t even shave him, people. 

Now, Tigerfan is very hair challenged on top of his head, BUT he can grow it in abundance EVERYWHERE else, yes, even back there.  So, he finally emerged from the office climbed into his truck and winced just a bit, not from the wound but from the hair that was being ripped off under the bandage.

Last night, it was time to clean and dress the wounds.  I tried to get him to make me mad so I would enjoy it a bit more, but he would not cooperate.  We started with his arm and all went smoothly.  It was then time to move to “where the sun doesn’t shine,” literally.  I really did feel bad.  I asked him if he wanted me to just jerk or go slowly..he opted for speed.  So we both gritted our teeth and I jerked.  So did he..and he screamed…and the bandage, it didn’t come off.  A lot of hair, apparently did.  We began again.  Jerk.  Scream.  A few more centimeters of loose bandage.  Again.  Finally, he said to just go for it.  I did.  I think he may have had tears in his eyes.  And people.  There was another bandage underneath.  Oh, yes there was!  And, yes, I had to do it again!  And while I do feel sorry for him..it really was quite hysterical!  His hiney is feeling better today and we are using some much friendlier medical tape now…but something tells me that this story may well take its place in infamy.  Right next to going the doctor commando style!

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5 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    So I guess it’s safe to say he’ll not be interested in waxing in the future?

    Oh, the humanity! Ouch!

  2. 2

    Carolyn said,

    OH THIS WAS QUITE THE STORY! Oh my WORD. It’s all too funny…not the yanking of the bandaid, but the whole no boxers-and where the sun don’t shine, and hiney! TOOO FUNNY! Glad to hear he’s safe for another year?

  3. 3

    Happy Mommy said,

    HD is has a lot of hair on his lower back as well… I think the no undies story is hilarious!

  4. 4

    Aimee' said,

    Well, you would know when I stroll over here to catch up on your blog I get one of “these” stories!!!!! Tell hubby I am glad he made it through and I am glad you made it through this as well, S!! I now know more about what your hubby’s buttock looks like than his actual face!! That is funny!!….. I think!! LOL

  5. 5

    Linda said,

    i’m sitting here reading thinking “tigerfan” was your son…bwhaha…poor HUBBY!!! saw you at my old blog today…thanks for the note. and please find me here http://www.growinwithit.blogspot.com nowadays. i’ve changed spots! see ya there!


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